We should only marry a believer according to what the Bible says (1 Corinthians 7:39). However, a lot of people end up getting married to non-believers. Perhaps they disregarded God’s Word; perhaps they didn’t become Christians until after marriage; perhaps their spouses turned away from God after marriage. The question in each of these situations is what the Christian spouse ought to do. The best answers to this query can be found in 1 Peter 3:1–6:
“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external – the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewellery, or the clothing you wear – but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.”
It’s interesting to note that Peter does not distinguish in this verse between wives of believers and wives of unbelievers; both are expected to treat their husbands with the same decency. In other words, wives are expected to treat their husbands with respect, be calm in spirit, behave in a pure and peaceful manner, and be subservient to them. Regardless of whether she is married to a Christian or not, this is how a wife should live because it pleases God. It is hoped that the non-Christian spouse will come to believe the gospel via the believing wife.
In the end, this is a very lofty calling, especially for women of non-Christian husbands, whose attitudes do not promote submission. She should not surrender to her husband in this area if he is abusive or encourages her to engage in improper activities. At the end of the day, a believing woman should strive to serve and please her higher authority—Christ—in whatever she does.
