Most human societies place a high value on the idea of family, which was originally established by God. According to Genesis 1:28, God told the first couple to “be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth” after creating people, calling them “male and female” (Genesis 1:27). Therefore, God intended for humans to be born and raised in families rather than hatching from an egg and leading solitary lives. But what specifically is the Bible saying about raising children?
Cultural variation
Men and women were created by God, as was previously mentioned. In addition, he instituted marriage as a lifetime bond between a single man and a single woman (see Genesis 2:18–24), along with the related mandate to procreate and multiply. This brings up the fundamental structure of a nuclear family, which consists of a man, his spouse, and their kids. Of course, there are plenty of single people and childless couples, but in this case, we’re talking about the general trend.
There is a great deal of diversity in the ways that people model their family life throughout time and cultures. Nuclear families live autonomously and lead relatively independent lives in certain societies. They prefer to live with other relatives, such as grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, and so forth, in other cultures. When a child marries, they often leave the parents home; in other cultures, they don’t. The Bible does not give one model more weight than another.
Family as a place of love and care
The basic pattern of a family with parents and children comes with certain roles and responsibilities. The Bible makes clear that it is the parents’ responsibility to take care of their children. Jesus takes this for granted when he illustrates God’s goodness towards people: “Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:9-11). And in Psalm 103:13 we read: “As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.” In Paul’s letter to Titus, we read how young women should learn “to love their husbands and children” (Titus 2:4). In a letter to Timothy, Paul even states: “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8). God thus requires us to love and take care of our relatives.
Family as a place to raise children
The Bible makes it very evident that authority and obedience within the family are just as important as love and care. One of the Ten Commandments, or “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you,” was one of the guidelines that God gave Israel (Exodus 20:12). Jesus set an example for us when he was “submissive” to Joseph and Mary, as described in Luke 2:51.
Parents have a position of authority, but this also brings the responsibility to raise their children well. This includes teaching their children whatever they need to know in order to become independent adults who can take care of themselves and of their potential children. But it goes further. The Bible stresses the importance of living according to God’s will and in connection to Him, and it is the task of parents to teach their children this way of life. Of course, they can’t “give” their children saving faith, but they can and should set their own lives as an example for their children to follow. “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). And in Ephesians 6:4, fathers are urged to “bring them [=their children] up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord”.
Spiritual family
The Bible not only speaks about natural families but also about a spiritual family. When Jesus was approached with a remark about his mother and brothers, “He replied to the man who told him, ‘Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?’ And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, He said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother” (Matthew 12:48). Christians call God their “Father”, and each other “brothers and sisters”. This spiritual family does not replace the natural family and its responsibilities, but there are similarities. Jesus clearly requires that believers love each other: “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you” (John 15:12). And Galatians 6:10 speaks about the responsibility of believers to take care of each other: “So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.”
As important as the natural family is on earth, it will not last forever. Jesus teaches us that “when they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven” (Mark 12:25). The spiritual bond between believers and their heavenly Father, however, is of eternal importance, as expressed in Romans 8:16-17: “The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs — heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.” Whoever belongs to God’s family, will enjoy the blessing of living eternally in his presence – under God’s authority, under his care, and in the fullness of his love.
