It is no secret that a healthy, strong marriage requires good communication between a husband and wife. It is also no secret that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Every married couple will experience miscommunication at some point in their marriage. Even couples who have been married for years and years still fight every now and then. As Christians, however, it is important that we learn how to properly address these communication problems because the Bible says that marriage is a picture of Christ’s love for the Church. Ephesians 5:31-33 says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Here are a few things to keep in mind when facing communication issues in your marriage.
Be honest
One of the most crucial elements of any [good marriage] is honesty. The one person you should be able to share everything with is your spouse. Your communication issues will only get worse if you lie to your partner and withhold facts from them. “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed upon?” asks Amos 3:3. For a husband and wife’s relationship to advance and flourish, they must come to an understanding. If being honest is not a top priority, this cannot possibly occur.
Listen more than you speak; be present
One of the most common reasons for communication problems in marriage is poor listening skills. As a husband, I know that I am guilty of this myself. I can be so selfish as to not give my wife the attention and respect that she deserves. Many communication problems could be easily avoided if we simply gave our spouses our undivided attention. Furthermore, the Bible makes it clear that we should be careful with our words. We should also be careful not to interrupt our spouses when they are speaking. This could communicate that we don’t really care about what they have to say or value their opinion. James 1:19 has this to say: “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” We would all do well to live by these words daily.
Love unconditionally
Christian married couples are called to love our spouses unconditionally—not to love in the manner of the world. Thus, even when they commit sins and make mistakes, we still decide to love them. And with the grace of God, they will love us just as much. We must always remember [the extent of God’s forgiveness for us]. In light of this, we ought to be ready to pardon our partners for their harsh words and actions. And when we transgress against them, we ought to be the first to ask for pardon. Ephesians 4:32, which reads, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you,” should be committed to memory.
Prayer for those struggling with communication in marriage
Here is a short prayer you might say to beg God for assistance if you are having trouble communicating right now.
Heavenly Father, I know you are aware of the communication difficulties [spouse’s name] and I are currently experiencing. Lord, please assist us to always be sincere with one another. Please make it easier for me to listen quickly and speak slowly. I want [spouse’s name] to know how much I respect and care about [him or her]. When we transgress Your will, show us Your grace. and enable us to love each other without conditions. In the name of Jesus. Indeed.
